you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it hurts more in the daytime
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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