I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I still have a little drunk in my system
A bitchslap is in order.
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