she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize