i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
