I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
