so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
whose parrot is this?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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