my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He felt like a one man threesome
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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