Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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