I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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