k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize