Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
