i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
