Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
