WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
