Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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