Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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