I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
