she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
