): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
