Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
