Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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