bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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