Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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