I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
