you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found a bag of teeth...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
