I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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