Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
