What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
two words: eviction party
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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