I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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