Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
