i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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