While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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