i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
