is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just invented taco cereal.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
