I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
