I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
