I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
