so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
