i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
