You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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