are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
