oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she looked like the before picture.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
