I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize