your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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