What did we do last night that was yellow?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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