You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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