we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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