you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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