well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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