sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
