on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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