I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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