ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
