I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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