two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
