I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
