I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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