Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so that wasnt chicken after all
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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