i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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