whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
