Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
