So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
