I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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