fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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