I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
