I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
