Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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