the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
