I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
